The Lean Mean Green Machine

Once again it’s been a quiet week or so at The Fatdog Broadcasting Corporation.  With the temperatures steadfastly refusing to drop below the late teens FD has been somewhat reluctant to walk any distance and at any available opportunity heads off back to barracks for a bit more of a snooze.  In the face of such demonstrative belligerence I’ve put off a return to the hills until the temperature drops a wee bit, which gives me a problem…what do I do to keep fit meantime?  I’ve been doing my once a week circuit training class and could, I suppose, do a session on a spin bike…assuming I wanted to indulge in a coma-inducing exercise in chronic boredom.  J has started going to a running class which she, most surprisingly, enjoys.  I quite fancied that myself but I’ve been advised to avoid impact through the legs so that’s a non-starter.

However, I did solve the problem…I bought a bike; a bright, shiny, lime green mountain bike.

No…I have no intention of battering my way down narrow, rock strewn, mountain trails on what would very quickly become a crumpled heap of lime green scrap metal.  No, no – I have decided on a much more sedate plan.

After years of travelling around what was the old Central Region looking after bridges, I am familiar with nearly every back road from Linlithgow to Tyndrum.  That familiarity, coupled with a few years of blundering along estate tracks and forestry roads with The Fatdog on our way to the mountains, has provided the makings of a decent little database of little trafficked cycle routes.

As part of my research I bought a couple of mountain bike magazines.  After a quick perusal I admit to being suitably scared.  In days gone by these people would, quite rightly, have been hidden away in large, dark, Victorian buildings by their relatives, never again to scandalize society by their bizarre behaviour.  I didn’t know bikes could be forced to carry out such atrocities.  But, if you thought rattling down mountains on a two wheeled deathtrap was a perversion, my God, wait to you see the clothing!  Here’s a sample, but be warned, the wearing of sunglasses is advisable.  Mind you, given that my bike is lime green, the chances are that  anything I wear is liable to cause a colour clash of Vivienne Westwood proportions!

Hooked on the colour extravaganza?  Here’s a link to lots more.


12 thoughts on “The Lean Mean Green Machine”

    1. Took me a minute to realise you were using your alternative identity Alex :D.

      Are you enjoying using WordPress as opposed to Blogger…or is it proving to be a pain in the rear end? 😆

    1. Sorry to hear that Clay’s still stuck in hospital Florene – hope you’re doing ok – it must be incredibly stressful for you.

      Funny you should have come up with that link as J was trying to get me to take Maisie with me. The thought of puffing up a hill towing The Fatdog in a buggy is not high on my list of happy thoughts! 😆

    1. I must admit I half expected you to take an interest in this post David. No, I have no intention of attempting to replicate that little jaunt of yours. I get the bike at the end of the week and by the following weekend I hope to have made it out of the cul-de-sac with both wheels intact. It’s 10 years since I was last on a bike so it’ll be an experience.

      Oddly I do have a notion to do some road “climbing” – I expect that’s the hillwalker in me though. Start with the one from Glen Village up to the 3 Kings and from there work my way up to Bealach na Ba 😆 . I expect I’ll tire of that notion fairly quickly though. I’m curious to see if my hillwalking over the past few years allows me to power a bike up a hill in a similar manner…mind you maybe I should hope for something better than that 🙄 .

    1. Sadly no 😆 .

      Anyway, I would have to save them for a suitable event where it appears to be compulsory to look ridiculous – a compleation perhaps? 😉

    1. You’ve just gone and spoiled all my fun Tessa (grumble) . This means I’m going to have to climb over 200 more of the bloody things just to do my fancy dress bit. 😦

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